By Anayo Nwosu
If not for restraining curse Mama Obiora, placed on my head the day I married my wife, only God knows how many times I would have beaten her up for consistent nerve testing provocations.
But, now my mother has died and has been buried, I would have to consult spiritualists to ascertain if the curse has also died. I need to enquire because I still have the serious urge to physically drive home some of my domestic arguments especially when all efforts to have my way have failed. It is even worse when the wife is more logical or sensible in arguments.
“What is left in a man who cannot reign in his home even though he is like a dove before his female bosses in the office or like Ekuke dog among his male counterparts?” most wife beaters think.
A man who beats up his wife for whatever reason should also know the implications of his triumphant action. He feels fulfilled seeing the wife subdued and helpless as he rains the punches and slaps on a weaker woman who he is supposed to love. After a beating session, the husband watches as the wife lies crying on the ground cringing under the pains of the pummeling and debasement; he would feel satisfied till the next beating treatment opportunity.
A man who beats the wife doesn’t know that he is arming his future enemies in his children. Yes, the children would develop into his enemies.
As their mother is being humiliated, the children may appear indifferent but they will never forgive their father. They would be bidding her time until the children are independent enough before she would unleash the time-tested emotional maternal blackmail and in no time the children would start alienating their father who had erroneously thought he was just giving his wife a corrective beating and that provision of all the children need was all that was required of the father.
A man who beats the wife for whatever reason is a wholesome loser. It is a matter of time for his self-inflicted injury to consume him.
Some wife beaters are so blinded to notice the horror and bottled indignation in their children as their mother is being beaten or verbally attacked. Even though the umbilical cords were severed at birth, the children are still remotely attached and connected to their mothers. No child loves to witness the mother being humiliated not even by their father.
It takes the grace of God and magnanimity of the battered wife who enjoins the children to forgive their dad, and for the children to love their dad. They would start showing rebellion once they become independent ; some even protest earlier and damn the consequences. It is even worse when they were driven out of the house violently.
On those early days of my marriage when I had to shout to be heard, I still get the cold shoulders from my little children who I mistakenly sent to Corona School where they teach children to be assertive. They would say, “Daddy, why are you shouting, do you want to beat Mummy? You are traumatizing us!” And I would apologize.
Let any man who cannot put up with his wife do something about the union. Marriage is not by force. Beating her up is what very weak men do. Do not beat her at all or stop beating her up.
Men who still beat there wives should study the later stages of lives of men who did same before them. The humiliated wives usually have the last laugh when the couple get old. At that time, the children usually leave the man alone and take their mums to live with them under various pretenses. The once emperor husbands would live their later stages of their lives in loneliness.
According to my uncle, a man can actually beat his wife legally; that kind of beating that gave birth to Ikenga Ezenwegbu. During this kind of fight, both the man and his wife cry as the fighting gets intense. This is the kind of wife beating every man should be good at. Ironically, refusal to fight one’s or beat her up thorough when both are naked could lead to divorce. Yes! Divorce; if the man fails or refuses to beat his wife properly.